Surreal

This morning I was talking to my mom on the phone and mentioned that I was planning on highlighting a few strands of my hair purple for the World Pride event tomorrow. She didn’t seem too surprised or concerned and the conversation moved on to other subjects till I had to hang up because my train was headed underground.
A couple of hours ago I got an SMS from my dad telling me that my mom had been crying all day and night because I was going to walk in the pride march, so could I please refrain from telling her ‘all these things’? Then he signed off with ‘Good night. Love you and miss you.’
REALLY?
I am so angry and hurt and pissed off and angry and hurt and confused and angry and …
WHAT THE HOLY FUCK?

I responded to him and said that I didn’t think it would hurt her and that from now on I’d only tell her about the irrelevant things that happen in my life.
Then I proceeded to cry and have been welling up with tears followed by anger followed by tears.

14 thoughts on “Surreal

  1. Oh I am so sorry, this must be so so hard. I hope you both have a fabulous day at the pride march and that your violet streaks turn out gorgeous!

  2. It is sad that your parents are being so closed minded about the one thing that brings you joy. Hugs. I hope they realize what they are missing out on, one day.

  3. I feel horribly disappointed in my parents when they just don’t appreciate the things that give me the greatest joy. When they are upset that their idea of joy isn’t mine. I know just how you feel.

  4. Sorry about your mom’s reaction. I was told once that I shouldn’t be surprised/hurt/saddened by my parents’ reaction/guilt/perceivedindifference when that’s the way they have always been. I don’t think that lessens my pain or my hope that the next time they will react differently. So hear you on your pain. Also chipping away at long held prejudices take time and maybe your mom’s reaction may be a tiny step towards that ultimate acceptance that all the tears in the world is not going to change you.

  5. I follow your blog religiously (quite a choice of nan adjective from someone as irreligious as me) and I’m sorry for how frustrating the sms must have been. Stay focussed on the violet streaks, in time, changed attitudes might be just as refreshing as well turned out streaks:)

  6. Sadly, parents and children keep hurting each other all the time. Maybe the separation from our parents allows us to grow our own way. Damn painful to all concerned. Big hugs.

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